It happened last week at my office. I was making a cup of coffee when the security staff walked in. He didn't notice me and was about to collide with me, when I put my hand out to stop him.
He stopped and said 'Thanks for touching me!’ I didn't know what to say and he went on to say "It's been a long time since someone touched me'.
I did not know if he was offended and I apologized. He said that he was not offended. I could see tears in his eyes.
These days, at least in the Western societies, touching and hugging people outside the family is not appreciated and even worse if the parties involved are of the same sex.
Now, I remember my younger days....why?.. even now when I go home, I walk with my friends holding hands or putting my arms around the shoulders! Never felt bad about doing it.
Not here where I live. 'While in Rome - be a Roman'.
He stopped and said 'Thanks for touching me!’ I didn't know what to say and he went on to say "It's been a long time since someone touched me'.
I did not know if he was offended and I apologized. He said that he was not offended. I could see tears in his eyes.
These days, at least in the Western societies, touching and hugging people outside the family is not appreciated and even worse if the parties involved are of the same sex.
Now, I remember my younger days....why?.. even now when I go home, I walk with my friends holding hands or putting my arms around the shoulders! Never felt bad about doing it.
Not here where I live. 'While in Rome - be a Roman'.
42 comments:
Yes very true, sir. We feel so uncomfortable, not knowing how to react in such situations.
Very True..
For Babies and Kids,they are carried in strollers and backpacks and its all about the affinity they develop in the later part of their life..How different this is practiced in eastern cultures..
Not to mention the social hugs....
Btw,HAND IN HAND pic was good..did u make it ??
Touch is a therapy. Why is it that married people are supposed to be healthier than singles? The touch, the hug and the kisses are all part of being a wholesome being, without which life, as it were, would be meaningless.
Thennavan has a valid point. correct thennavan. absolutely
Yeah.. In the first week we came here..I was tired and my friend slept on my shoulders.. I was getting such pathetic glares, that I decided to wake him up! Something I would not have done bac home
We become very ethno-centric even when we travel within in India. I have a friend from South Africa, who said it is very common in SA, for people of the same sex to hold hands and walk together. Can you imagine that in the western world.
I agree with Thennavan, "touching" is a therapy
Sir,
Nice post. The photo is good. I second Thennavan's opinion. As you said, indha oorla oru paiyan tholla kaiya pottu nadandhu ponaa, (Vadivel soldradhu maadhiri) ' Avaanaada neeyee' apdinnu kettuduvaanga ;)....Here, from the birth, the kid is being brought-up separately in a room...
Rgds,
Sundaresan
I am surprised that your security staff hasnt been touched by anyone. It does make a difference when one tries to reach out to anyone else who is a notch lower in the eyes of society. It speaks about your ability to treat humans as humans.
Is it so? It is a news to me that people try to avoid touching in western countries.. I had frequented Europed on my business trips. I didn't have that kind of experience there. Strange!! But when I realise it is happening, I'm unable to digest.
Oh yes! I've encountered this before.
Even in Singapore such 'practices' are scorned upon. Lots of fellow Indians, and Tamilians specifically, immigrate to work in construction sites in Singapore, and they casually walk on streets holding hands with their friends, just like they would back in India.
Lots of my Chinese colleagues used to ask me if India is such a permissive society :). I used to tell them that its not what they think!
Me too touched by this. :).
SEEMS a heated debate is on..
look here.. Thanks !!
reminded me of Kattipudi vaithiyam in Vasoolraja / Munnabhai MBBS.
me to liek kaps thot of munnabhai.Touch a soul in a day and make a difference .!wow.nice post sir.
20th Century Fox which has purchased the rights to remake Munnabhai MBBS in Hollywood, announced today the "Hero" of the Project :-) Just kidding
I remember a similar incident when I was in the US. The AT&T cable guy had come to install our set-top box and he became sentimental when we offered him Juice ( The traditional Indian custom) . He was all praise for Indian hospitality saying he had witnessed this act in most Indian homes.
Whatever be your skin color, there is a heart inside it !
I am reminded of Mata Amritanandamayi whose has been 'hugging' several thousands people all over the world, bringing them the joy & happiness.
on the lighter side..
I am also reminded of Kamal's recent movie "Vasool Raja MBBS". where he espouses the miracle of "Kattipudi Vaidhyam" or the "Hug therapy"..
It is very true.. The simple act of 'touch' or 'hug' has the power to heal emotional wounds..
Ram Viswanathan
is that so? never knew this before. hhmm. Reminded of "Vasool Raja M.B.B.S" movie.
sir,i wonder if the person u touched(emotionally too!)was an african american?even good old madras is starting 2 change sir...but as long as there is cricket i guess we men will continue to high five atleast!!!
if touch is the one that catapulted Mata Amritanandamayi to one higher level there is nothing wrong about it...I hug my nieces and I hug my dad,mom sis everyone around..there is nothing wrong.. it is all the way we perceive things...
i loved this post of urs venkitu sir..rombha nalla iruku
Venkat,Ram C
US makkala singapore serangoon roadilla aduvum sunday oru nall poi nikka sonna avvaluvudhan
mudunchuthu kadhai. ;)
this is one of the many things which has been polluted and tarnished by the west. everything one does here seems to have some implication.
it was such an innocent feeling. but sadly, now one has to look out if anyone is watching (and snickering).
You can see the difference on the cricket field too. AFAIK, only players from the sub-continent hug each other in joy during a post-wicket celebration. Saurav must have been glared upon by the English crowd when he hugged Kaif in that historic win in the Natwest series.
Check out Leander-Mahesh !! Well, their gesture is more kinda macho
Another anecdote ...
One of my friends working in Robert Bosh (or Bausch, I came last in the spelling-bee contest) had an intern from Germany visit him. The visitor, on seeing the Indian Junta was awestruck and told my friend that he was surprised at the number of gays in India. The poor guy had to explain that touching was very common gesture of friendship in Indian Culture
Yeah.. a small touch/holding the hands would do miracles.. people here doesnt u.stand the worth of india.. in India we do it always.. :-)
May be thats why relationships are stronger in India!
Enna Venkitu sir, no reply to comments policy eppa edutheenga! enna premium enakkum konjam sollunga
yeah, actually i remember one of my friend saying that.. one plumber came to repair the tap and when he asked if would like to eat.. he cried it seems... so indian traditions rocks :) these people just need a trigger to go sentimental i think...
Interesting...didn't know about this. "Kattipudi vaithiam" sure has a meaning.
hmm ... have noticed this before! When my sis and me walk holding hands, people give that weird looks! Its horrible!
Interesting... I am aware that ppl avoid touching in this part of the world.. but didn't know that there are some who would feel better abt it.
aamaam ganesh! correct-a sonneenga..
namma serangoon road thooki US-la vekkanum. pasanga summa aadi poiduvaanga :)
let me give a different perspective....I am not saying what they do in western countries is right, just a different angle to viewing things..
1) the "no touch is a good touch" law in schools in the US came into effect because of abuse among teachers/students. Readers in the
US should know of a recent case where a woman teacher, 38 years old, got pregnant from a 11th grade boy...while this is an isolated incident, if you are a parent what will be your reaction?
2) allergies in US -- specifically certain people are extremely allergic. I have one colleague who has to wash her hands with antibacterial every time she touches a foreign object (foreign as based from a list given to her by her allergy treatment doctor)
there may be many more.....I agree that its sometimes too much, but again, not everybody may be doing it for the same reason.....
we have become too cynical of things....'cos of overexposure.
sometimes ignorance is bliss!!!!!!
Ellam indha Michael Jackson aala dhaan!
asdfsd
Whoop! that's a huge list of comment. but jokes apart a very moving experience indeed. There are many connotations attached to touch. the very notion of untouchability is definitely there. Beside that the other thing about two men touching each other..in today's time..is relevant. Movies too portray such things in a lewd manner. I agree with u the earlier broad mindedness of people has dissapeared. You cannot hug a person merely because u love him as a friend or if u consider him ur brother...u always have to give explanations for behaving in a certain way.
Hi narayanan, how r u? whoop thats a huge list of people u have commenting on the topic nice post there..infact this entire post was indeed very moving. Touch..does play a big role in our day to day lives though we do not realise it. the very notion of untouchability is around the concept of touch..also the other thing u spoke about. that two people of the same sex touching each other is seen in a wrong light. People no longer see it as two friends in arms with each other but as something else
:) and if you're a female and you touch anyone its not acceptable either...(in our society)... men touching men is great...
men touching women not so great...
women touching men not good...
and women touching women...doesnt happen..i wonder why!
But i remember i touch, kiss, hold hands, hug... very openly...irrespective of the sex....
I think a touch expresses more than words can. It can say a lot!
Have you seen this movie called the 5 senses? A man goes into the massage parlour in canada and says the same thing this man said to you. Mmm! I guess you succeeded in touching the fellows soul. Bless you mate! you should take him out for coffee or something the next time.
Can't help but agree with Thennavvan while laughing at Praveen's comment!! And yeah, Kamalhaasan was absolutely dead right about in VR,MBBS!
FOLKS - Thanks for your wonderful comments.! I am back to blogging thanks to all of you.!
I can feel thennavans loneliness, time to get married dude!
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